My Laudanum

My longing
is a closed fist
an assault upon the body
watching the fragility
of sanity fall
to dust on the floor.

I taste gunmetal black
the trigger a heart beat away
your eyes in the smoke
I fill my lungs
with memories.

Convulsed
in withdrawals
the promise of Lethe
hovers so close
your words are the only
soothing balm.

Your lips are
my laudanum
when all pain fades
and

My Laudanum